My Old Man: Tales of Our Fathers edited by Ted Kessler
(Canongate, 256 pages, hardback. Out today and available here from the Caught by the River shop.)
Review by Mathew Clayton
I knew Ted Kessler’s name from the NME in the 1990s, but I never really took any notice of him until he started penning the odd piece for Caught by the River. I really liked his writing, not quite sure why. He wrote about QPR, he wrote about his spin class (a first for CBTR!), there was litany of personal disasters and a monthly diary How Far to the Horizon that only lasted three entries – but for some reason he struck a chord.
Then he started the blog My Old Man. Like all the best ideas it is a very simple one: people writing about their fathers. The blog has now become a fantastic book. It contains around 40 pieces, mainly by well-known people (stacked quite heavily with music industry faces). People like Nathan McGough, former manager of the Happy Mondays writes brilliantly about his two fathers – his stepdad the poet Roger McGough and his real dad Anthony Monagham who walks out of his life when he is three years old. In his early twenties, Nathan tracks Anthony down and they meet up. A night out is arranged with his wider family, but his dad takes him off for a quick drink first. My favourite sentence in the book is the last one in this brief extract, ‘‘We walked up to the pub and he asked if I could lend him the fiver that my auntie had just given me. All right, fine. We had pints. It came to seven thirty and I told him we had to go back and meet everyone, but he wouldn’t leave the boozer. ‘I’ll give you a bit of advice,’ he said. Don’t pay attention to what women tell you to do. Do what you want.’ It’s the worst advice you could give anyone’’.
As you hop from one heart wrenching story to the next it is hard not to compare them all. Billy Childish’s dad wins the award for Worst Dad Ever for trying to kill him and his mother, Paul Weller’s dad wins Most Pissed (this was a highly contested category), Tim Burgess’ dad Most Time Spent in the Garage, Nick Ball’s dad is definitely Maddest Dad for standing up to bunch of Chelsea fans and Rose Bretecher’s dad wins the Most Imaginative Use of a Dead Animal which she recounts in a standout entry, “I was up from London with my new boyfriend. It was the first time you’d met him. In the morning, while we were still in bed, a dead magpie peeked round the bedroom door and said, ‘Hello’, then did a little dance to the tune that sounded a lot like your Pigs Lane song. You’d found the bird in the garden and thought it too beautiful not to show us. My boyfriend took a photo. I love that photo more than words can say’’.
It is a really wonderful, very moving book. It starts with these brilliant lyrics by Ian Dury, and I will finish with them because they are… well… perfect.
My old man wore three piece whistles
He was never home for long
Drove a bus for London Transport
He knew where he belonged
Number 18 down to Euston
Double decker move along
Double decker move along
My old man
My old man
Later on he drove a Roller
Chauffeuring for foreign men
Dropped his aitches on occasion
Said “Cor Blimey!” now and then
Did the crossword in the Standard
At the airport in the rain
At the airport in the rain
My old man
My old man
Wouldn’t never let his guv’nors
Call him ‘Billy’, he was proud
Personal reasons make a difference
His last boss was allowed
Perhaps he had to keep his distance
Made a racket when he rowed
Made a racket when he rowed
My old man
My old man
My old man was fairly handsome
He smoked too many cigs
Lived in one room in Victoria
He was tidy in his digs
Had to have an operation
When his ulcer got too big
When his ulcer got too big
My old man
My old man
Seven years went out the window
We met as one to one
Died before we’d done much talking
But relations had begun
All the while we thought about each other
All the best mate from your son
All the best mate from your son
My old man
My old man
This summer, Ted will be talking to folk about their fathers at Port Eliot and Caught by the River Thames.
Mathew Clayton will also be among our guests at Port Eliot this year. Catch him on Thursday afternoon giving a talk titled ‘Kling Klang: The History of the Cowbell’.